Yes I Am With You Always, Until The Very End Of Time
Maybe I should save this for Sunday, but you guys know how I like to wrap up the work week with a round of Shoot, Screw, or Marry (and also bottle of Jim Beam, but that is neither here nor there). And if there’s a Hell, then housekeeping is making up a cot in the basement for me as I write this, because today’s edition is all about our homie up in Heaven: Jesus Christ.
Hark! (or some other bible-y word), the contenders:
Source: Fun Blog
LolJesus. Hey, I’m happy to see he’s managed to keep his sense of humor after all that he’s been through.
Ink Spotter: Hanna
Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick! Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the Dead Milkmen more than anyone, but I think this image is something better suited to, say, a goofy t-shirt than a goofy torso-length tattoo. Because I’m not a 14-year-old boy. And personally, I’d be having a crisis of faith the moment His pogo stick caused those stretch marks.
Ink Spotter: kittygritty
…and retarded Jesus. Can the short bus pass through the eye of a needle?
Pretty Jesus-y up in here this week, huh? Don’t worry, next week we’ll get back to our regularly scheduled sacrilege. Anyway, my picks: shoot retarded Jesus. I’m sorry if that’s insensitive, but I just don’t think we’d have that much in common. Besides being retarded.
Screw pogo Jesus. What can I say? I’ve had an incredibly immature crush on the Dead Milkmen since forever, and this is the closest I’ll ever get to having awkward teenage sex with them.
Marry LolJesus. There’s something about his body language that tells me he wouldn’t be into me romantically, but I think we could have a good time together. Plus he probably could use a beard—I don’t think his dad would approve of his lifestyle, if you know what I’m saying.
Whew! I don’t know about you, but I feel the power of Christ compelling me! Or is this what it feels like when you’re about to get smote? If you have any faith at all, you’d better get your picks in the comments soon.
Where to start?
the first one to me is the least offensive – although I am not a fan of text speak.
The one with the stigmatas on the pogo stick – whats that about? If it wasnt for the pogo stick, I would like it a bit more. At least (i assume) it is a tat we are MEANT to laugh at…..
squashed-face-jesus is truely terrible, and has to be the worst of the lot, aesthetically…. so my verdict is:
SHOOT – squashed-face-jesus, he deserves it. I know God is all about forgiveness, but if someone inked such an ugly parody of MY only son on them, I would definately smite them…
SCREW – pogo jeezus. This was a tough call, and the decision was made purely on the basis I couldnt marry anyone who had that many strech marks….
MARRY – OMG, I’ve only left myself txt spk G-sus. Tell ya what, I will shoot them all. I’ll take my chances in purgatory for all time for my sins…
How can you not love Brian Peppers Jesus at the bottom.
OMG! “Can the short bus pass through the eye of a needle?” This made me do my ugly laugh! Thank God (ha ha) I wasn’t drinking anything. You crack me up! I think I’m crushing on you now…
Being irreligious, I heart these tattoos!
Shoot retarded Jesus, he is just fugly.
Screw Pogo stick Jesus, he looks like fun…
Marry Lol Jesus, I love a man with a good sense of humor!
What in the name of Jesus is the bumpy thing on the body of Pogo Jesus guy?
Looks like hairy boobs but too stiff to be man boobs, so are they implants? Or just….a bump?
Ew…..this is disgusting, don’t screw him XD
Stuart, I like you. You’re not like the other kids here, in the trailer park…
Jumping Jesus on a Pogo Stick!
Marry OMG LOL Jesus – exactly what you said – no physical attraction, but we’d have a lot of fun.
Screw pogo stick Jesus – it’d be a fling
Shoot ‘retard Jesus’ wow what an unfortunate tattoo.
SWEET ZOMBIE JESUS ON A POGO STICK. I would marry that one.
Shoot LOL Jesus…It drives me crazy when people actually speak in text
Screw Retarded Jesus. It would only be a pity-fuck though…I’m sure with a face like that he never gets laid
And that leaves marry pogo-stick Jesus. He looks immature, but if he’s able to afford that sweet pogo stick he’ll probably be a good provider
LolJesus is on ur back, firgivin ur sins.
Marry lol Jesus. Shoot the other 2.
Sorry, but the 2nd one looks like he has a boob, it that a man or a woman? Look at the top right.
3rd one looks like a baby or a girl, too creepy for me.
Shoot ‘em all, let gods sort ‘em out.
haha the third one is
the hunchback of notrajesus
Shoot LOLJesus… that is one ugly tatoo. Screw Pogo-stick Jesus, and marry Retarded Jesus.
Is that the Dude from the Big Lebowski?
Okay…I just…I don’t know.
Since I can’t shoot them all…
I’ll shoot retarded Jesus.
He’s scary, and honestly…I doubt my life would be very safe in his hands. So we’ll just get him out of the way.
I’ll screw LOLJesus because well, let’s face it. He’s only out for a good time. One probably involving heavy drinking and quite possibly weed, but i’m down with that.
And i’ll marry pogo-Jesus. Because that one is the least bad. Yes, least bad. I said it.
I actually prefer Jesus “tap-dancing” Christ, who isn’t represented here. Word has it, he has the biggest johnson.
Maybe it’s a French woman. X-D
Ew… Not only is the pogo stick an ugly picture, the guy has stretch marks to add the the “art.”