High Three!
November 2nd, 2009
Ink Spotter: Suzie
Since these kids are obviously from a galaxy far, far away, I’m not going to bother making fun of the weird spellings of their names. I’m actually surprised that their written language is so similar to ours.
My favorite part is that the little boy (or whatever they call males on their planet) appears to be listening to the nipple, like it’s some sort of communication device. “Whaht’s that you saye, Supreyme Leadre? You whant us to terroryze the peeyple of Earth? Yes syr, your whish is our commahnd.”
Just noticed that the “little boy” Addisyn seems to have “his” ears pierced. Hmmm…alien rituals…Lutefisk?
What’s with the three fingered hands that look somewhat like toes? Further proof that they are aliens? Of course, the five pointed communication devices on their “heads” are dead give-aways…
I think they only have three fingers because this man’s nipples are too close together. I don’t think the tattoo artist took that into account. But why did he spell his children’s names like that? They look like they are childhood diseases named out.
My ‘caydance’:
I don’t know but I’ve been told
(I don’t know but I’ve been told)
Fear for this man when he gets old
(fear for this man when he gets old)
Baby portraits never make good tattoos, even by artists who can actually draw. What is the deal with the 3 fingers? o_O
…and you’re not even bothered by the three finger hands? What gives? Did the guy run out of money, then say “nevermind. Give me just THREE fingers”?
Scenario #1:
Customer: “I love me my children so goddamn much, I wants to have their little angel faces tattooed on my chest forever and ever!”
Artist: “Sir, that will be $500″
Customer: “What, the…??!!? That’s just a load of horse-puckey! They ain’t worth that much!”
Scenario #2:
Customer: “I love me my children so goddamn much, I wants to have their little angel faces tattooed on my chest forever and ever!”
Artist: “Alrighty there, that’ll be….” “…right about $37, two grams of crank, and you have to boil the needles for me.”
Customer: “Sold”
What the eff is it with the three finger hands??? Creeps the hell outta me!!!
I like the haze of smoke around the ‘children’. Obviously, big-eyed, three-fingered aliens like weed. Or ‘wyyd’, perhaps. The throwing stars about to impale themselves into their brains are a nice touch.
Those huge eyes are really creeping me out.
I laughed out loud at your spelling of wyyd. That’s hysterical, considering their names!
WTF—- no really,,WTF
I’m going to see those weird fingers in my nightmares, I know it…
I would be pissed if my father got a poorly executed tattoo of me anywhere near his nipple.
Awww…but don’t you see the wee 3-fingered ‘Live Long and Prosper’ sign?
They come in peace…
I really hope that these kids actually have birth defects..wait, that’s worse. Nevermind.
What is the red blob behind (aimed at) Caydance’s head? A coffee cup? Is it supposed to be a heart? What sort of cruel nature gave these children only three fingers? (and Fred Flintstone fingers at that!) Is the smoke indicative that these are crack babies? Has anyone notified Child Services?
I miss “Lost” all of the sudden. Did they ever explain the statue anyway?
LOL best comment ever!!
they look like troll dolls.
Those fingers are really creeping me out :S
ugh… my daughter’s name is cadence. i hate it when people try to get all “unique” with it. now i have to spell it out for people constantly.
How sad that people should get them confused. Cadence is a word associated with music or poetry; the lovely things that make life worth living. Caydance, on the other hand is a word associated with nothing holy on this earth…
Caydence is associated with a three fingered alien?
WTF?? I’m not even sure those are hands. They kind of look like three big toes. These kids seem a little young to have their eyebrows shaved off and drawn in with sharpies.
I like the mole growing over the girls mouth. Gonna be sucking on daddies chest mole for eternity.
Maybe it’s a herpes sore.
Look like this portrait was designed by a caricature artist. These extraterrestrial kids look totally weird.
Nautical stars and baby portraits are my two least favorite tattoo subjects of all time- this guy wins my *argh blam dead* award.
He’s obviously a redneck. That’s how they spell, right?
If he were a redneck, it would be “Caydance-Bob.” Maybe ‘Bahb.’
Actually it would probably be Lee. Or Wayne.
Point taken about Lee. Wayne is reserved for the serial killers, though.
How thoughtful of Dad to provide for their future careers by giving them stripper names.
The sudden popularity of the name Addison has never made sense to me because all I can think of is Addison’s Disease. Her (his?) sibling should be named Cushing.
okay, a lot of things I just need to say so I don’t think about it too hard all night.
1. Isn’t using “y” in place of other vowels something “creative” parents do mostly to make boy names into girl names? I am thinking “Jordyn” and “Aidyn” and yeah. So, if “Addisyn” is a boy, he’s got a girl’s boy’s name. (And besides, these poor kids will become adults with stupid names. If I were a hiring manager and saw that name on a resume… right. I just don’t think parents think about naming future adults, you know?)
2. I think the nautical stars were there first. If not, this design is effed up. (LOL… I know. Shut up!)
3. I REALLY want to know, no–NEED to know, the story behind why there are only three weird-ass fingers for each hand. That can’t be planned, or liked… I cannot wrap my head around it, if this is meant to be a tribute to this dude’s children… perhaps it’s a joke. I mean, those kids have some fugliness that I’m sure is just the tattoos… *shudder*
4. Baby pictures do not a good tattoo make. I don’t know… it’s one of those things that is wrong with the world, but people just keep doing it because it’s one of those “I love my kids, man… I love them so much! So much that I’ll spend their child support for the next three months on getting a wicked tat of their faces. Yeah! I love them man!” I like to think that even though the children probably weren’t planned, the tattoo was. So it makes up for it somehow, in the alternate universe from whence these spawn have traveled.
The {ahem} “unique” spelling seems to be a white trash thing, spilled over from “urban” naming conventions, such as adding “la” to the beginning of a name to sound French (cuz we all knows that French shit is fancy, yo!). Sure, there are children with simiarly-spelled names who aren’t trash, but then those are children of parents who are middle class white people who SO desire to be hip, but are so far from it that they check the locks on their car doors at stop lights if there is a black person nearby.
explanation win. Considering I’m middle class and white, maybe my next boy should be named “Wyllyum?”
Seconded. Working in education, I see these kinds of “creative” spellings all the time. I don’t see it so much in the middle-class kids (though some interesting spellings pop up now and again), but rather in the lower-class kids of all ethnicities – rural and urban. Usually the parents are semi-literate and enamored of the hip hop scene and/or gangsta lifestyle. I forsee lots of young people filing for name changes once they get into the job market and find out that names like Jadn (pronounced Jayden) and LaQueen do not pique HR managers’ interest.
LA QUEEN
That made my day
Those aren’t his children… Those are his level 80 Gnomes from World of Warcraft.
THAT is why they have 3 fingers.
HAHAHA I just spit up my bloody tea.
Although I’d correct you and say they’re level 70 as it’s clearly Outland we can see in the background (and this man clearly cannot afford the current expansion).
Maybe this is one of those “in memory of” tattoos, following the early death of paternal twins who were born with multiple deformities, of which only two could be stomached by the tattooist. If so, my money is on their parents being siblings, too.
I’m going with this explanation. It is by far the most probable, clear, and logical.
Yeah I like the way you think, your making alot of sense here.
Just imagine, when he’s doing the dirty with his wife, she’s going to be constantly reminded of the result of their actions.
Did you ever see that scene in season 1 of True Blood when Jason Stackhouse was giving it to the recent divorcee out back behind Merlotte’s by the dumpster? I don’t know why, but when you were describing “conception” of these children, that’s what came to mind as to the how. Coincidentally, doggie-style would prevent having to look at the tattoo. *Shrug* just saying.
This TAT is not only ugllly, but it is also a booking photo, so i don’t think he’s going to be showing it off anytime soon in the prison yard
Is it wrong that Caydance reminds me of the Bride of Chucky? And who spells names like that, honestly?
It looks like Caydance has a Herpes blister on her lip
Of all the baby pictures on this website, the actual *faces* of this one are better than most. However, the whole thing is strange and disturbing – starting with the names and ending with the toes and including everything in between. Faces on man’s chest = bad idea because of chest hair = hairy baby faces = sad = why would you do that?
You people need to be more open minded… The tattoo was either done by Gunnar or someone who stole his style. His characters all have 4 fingers, and he has made a killing in the tattoo industry by having a unique style… maybe you should all compare your tribal, star, and kanji tattoos before you criticize others.
This is all in fun. You obviously know your stuff when it comes to tattoos, so you should be able to see the flaws in the placement, design, and overall quality. I have worked in tattoo shops and have seen much better work from apprentices. Seriously why do you look at the comments if you’re not going to have fun with it.
Wait a minute, Caydance has blonde hair and blue eyes, while Addisyn has dark hair, dark eyes, darker skin…. There’s something that his wife isn’t telling him.
Nah, I used to watch a couple of twins who looked very similar to this (without the freakish eyes and fingers).
Oh hell… Isn’t it obvious, these strange creatures from some dark Hell dimension, have obviously imprinted their images on this man’s chest as some form of Birth Control. While him and his girlfriend are going at it, she will not be able to help but scream in bloody horror at the demonic visages hovering over her…
And if that is not a turn off for her… May your god have mercy on us all…
I, for one, welcome our new sloth overlords.
PS I think Caydance is meant to be a girl (red heart) and Addisyn is meant to be a boy (blue heart). I wouldn’t bet too many Galactic Standard Credits on it, though. (Too many references, I know, but it seems appropriate for this one).
You welcome our new sloth overlords, eh? I for one refuse to go submit without a fight! They will have my allegiance when they take it from my cold dead hands! Death to the mutant sloths! No quarter for the enemy!
Another argument for licensing people to breed.
Erm… That’s all I’ve got. I am speechless… and not in a good way!
I love their little ET hands!