Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page

That last tattoo, despite its explicit depiction of a sexual act, was woefully free of penises. I know you guys hate that, so I’m just posting this to make up for it. You’re welcome.

Submitted by: Becky via Submission Page

Happy Monday! How about tossing out that coffee and filling your mug with some donkey punch to go with your doughnut? Don’t forget to wear your socks!

Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page

This must yield some interesting pickup lines.

“Do you want to hang out?”

“How about I show you how I’m hung?”

“Baby, it’s a good thing you’ve got that wire hanger, because I’m about to get you unwantedly pregnant.”

Okay, maybe not that last one. Most guys aren’t that smooth.

Submitted by: Andy via Submission Page

Can we please have a moratorium on this? I think that we as a society would get a lot more done if no one had any reason to sit around pondering which human (or animal) orifice their navel should play in a tattoo. That time could be spent coming up with a cure for cancer, or genetically engineering humans with no bellybuttons, thus saving future generations from monstrosities such as this.

Close-up after the jump! Click to see more… »

Submitted by: Johanna via Submission Page

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad I didn’t say banana cock boob tattoo?

Submitted by: Joe Dirt via Submission Page

Uh oh. Looks like we’ve got a backup here. Someone call this guy:

Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page

Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page

Yes, I know. Everyone loves Lady Gaga. She’s got real talent! She’s a performance artist! She’s a visionary!

Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page

Whatevs. I’m over her. Which is why I’m glad I didn’t get a Lady Gaga tattoo during the two-minute period that I thought “Bad Romance” was an interesting song.

Plus, there are SO many other ways that you can show your appreciation for Gaga without a tattoo. Try walking around without pants! It’s easy and free.

If you must get a tattoo, try to get one that looks like this. Ten years from now, when you’re tired of hearing “lady who-who?,” you can just tell people that it’s Madonna. Or Ralph Macchio.

Whatever you do, just don’t do this:

Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page

Submitted by: Robert via Submission Page

Hmm. IS Canada the root of all evil? Let’s find out:

Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page

Exhibit A.

Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page

Exhibit B.

Exhibit C. GUILTY! Canada, how could you?!

Source: The Smoking Gun via Dlisted

. . . or at least they try to.

This guy was arrested for trying to run down his landlady with a minivan. But he don’t care. Judging by that expression, he’s expecting the mothership to beam him back up to Planet Snakebrows annnny second now.

Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page

Two bad ideas for the price of one. I can’t tell if the eyes are crossed trying to see that mess that’s going on in between them or if they’re rolling back in their sockets in disgust.

I’m going to go with C.) executed by a cross-eyed tattoo artist.