Submitted by: Ryan Kelly’s ribs. via Submission Page
The follow-up to the wildly popular children’s book Danny and the Dinosaur somehow failed to match the success of its predecessor. For some reason, most people just didn’t see the appeal of Sally and the Stabosaur.
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
People frequently react to tattoos with “ZOMG what is that going to look like when you’re old and saggy?!” In fact, that line of reasoning was my mom’s weapon of choice against any given ill-conceived teenage desire. “You want a tattoo? What will it look like when you’re old and saggy?” “You want a navel piercing? What will it look like when you’re old and saggy?” “You want to major in Peace and Conflict Studies? WHAT WILL THAT LOOK LIKE WHEN YOU’RE OLD AND SAGGY?!!”
Anyway, in this case I’m interested in what the tattoo would look like if this guy lost weight. Maybe when the letters shrink they say something different, like “Fit Ass.” Or “Flat Ass.” “Thanks for the Add?”
Yeah, probably not.
Submitted by: myspace via Submission Page
These tattoos not only make no sense when viewed separately, but also have the added benefit of being completely stupid when taken together! It’s the win-win of losing!
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
Wow. What an EXTREME lack of judgment it must take to think this was a good idea. There is only one way to redeem this epic feat of toolbaggery:
Crisis averted. You should probably grow your hair out a little too, but I’m not going to Photoshop that in for you. I can’t do everything.
For all you kids born in the nineties who have no idea what old lady Jessica is rambling about, I present to you the greatest song* in the history of the entire universe even counting Beethoven and The Dead Milkmen:
*for getting felt up at awkward junior high school dances
Submitted by: Facebook via Submission Page
If my mind is untangling these appendages correctly, then Gimpy Roger on the left there has a tattoo that reads “FUCK LIFE.” Fine. Knuckle tats tend to be the domain of those trying to cultivate a certain image of hardcore outsiderness, so I guess “fuck life” fits the bill.
But what about the other guy? When the two of them aren’t getting together like cheerleaders to spell out “TEAM FUCK YEAH LIFE” (which itself doesn’t make much sense, does it? Maybe there’s a third member of the squad—missing from this picture because he was trying to figure out how to set up the self-timer on the camera—who’s usually at the bottom of the pyramid with his “COACHING” tattoo, spelling out the name of their business venture: TEAM FUCK YEAH LIFE COACHING. I mean, I would take life advice from a bunch of guys with DIY knuckle tattoos, wouldn’t’ you?), then Iron Maiden is left with knuckles that say “team yeah.” That doesn’t exactly seem fair. “Team Yeah” sounds like the unenthusiastically chosen team name for the most resentful trust-building exercise participants at the executive retreat. “What do we want to be called? How about just ‘Team’? No? Okay, then ‘Team Yeah.’”
Ink Spotter: Rachel K
I haz a Pokeman. My Pokeman needs a friend!
Ink Spotter: Mickey
My Pokeman haz a girlfriend.
Ink Spotter: Nikky
My Pokeman was maded by a prison friend.
Ink Spotter: Anonymous
My Pokeman haz a lonely tweener friend.
Submitted by: My friend’s tattoo artist did it. via Submission Page
Ink Spotter: Anonymous
I love my Converse. I’ve probably worn them every single day for the past five years, with the exception of those days that I’ve been too hung over to leave the house or too drunk to find my shoes before going out. So, like 50% of days.
But obviously my devotion pales in comparison to these guys’. Maybe they’re on to something. “What do you mean ‘No shoes, no service’?!” I’ll never get kicked out of T.G.I. Friday’s again! You hear that, you stripey motherfuckers?! I WANT MY GODDAMN FAJITA PLATTER!!
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
I don’t know what we’re supposed to take away here. Daddy’s girl is a gold-digging unicorn?
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
Oops, you spelled “Electra Complex” wrong!
Normally I’d say we turn this into a round of Shoot, Screw, or Marry, but that just seems wrong, doesn’t it? Anyway, these girls are interested in only one guy, and trust me, it isn’t you.
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
My first reaction to this was that Madonna and Britney Spears kissing was not a moment worth memorializing with an amateurish tattoo, no matter how perfect a fulfillment to one’s fantasies of hot lesbo action.
But then I rewatched the video, and it’s actually kind of good. I mean, not good in the sense that it showcases actual talent or that it’s compelling in any way (aside from aforementioned hot lesbo action). But it’s, um, fun. A fun romp. And I suppose that’s all it takes for some people. I’ll let you decide for yourselves.
Submitted by: My friend via Submission Page
We here at Ugliest Tattoos are no strangers to the occasional disembodied dick. While I don’t understand the motivation to get a penis tattoo, I can see how they become an easy stand-in for other things. You don’t need to draw the whole man to represent your sexual obsessions. Also, drawing the whole man is a pain in the ass.
It’s different for the ladies. There’s no agreed upon, ASCII-simple representation of the vagina, and it’s kind of hard to draw one out of context. Did that stop this guy? No. What about this guy?
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
Nope. And not this guy either:
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
Okay, that’s sushi (I think), but you know what I’m getting at. What I want to know is why they all have wings. I’m sure that within five seconds of hitting “Publish” I’ll be informed of some simple explanation, like that vaginas with wings are a running theme on Adult Swim or something (as well a informed that there IS an ASCII representation of the female anatomy, idiot). But for now I’ll just think of it as some airborne sex-part serendipity.
Anyway, there’s only one known remedy for such a swarm, and thank god we have it handy:
Submitted by: BME baby via Submission Page
If This Tat Could Talk